It has been really hard to be happy with my own career lately. From feelings of burnout, imposter syndrome and inadequacy to the utter failure of technology and technocrats to our society, I sometimes think of quitting my career, wanting everything to burn down and bake bread full time instead. I started writing this at 4am with insomnia probably due to anxiety. Insert this is fine emoji here.

However, I have to remind myself of how lucky I am for how software development helped me, along with all the privileges I enjoyed throughout my life, to go places, get good jobs and see the world. Gratitude, I found out, is the key for my happiness and it requires practice. So here we are!

First, it took me from a small town to the largest city of Brazil. Sure, it sucked for the first few years with low pay, needing two jobs at the same time to be able to afford living in such an expensive city, but I was still able to enjoy some of its cultural output, such as an incredible music scene and an overall great bohemian lifestyle. I met many incredible people that I still keep in touch to this day.

Then I was able to experience the joy of remote work for the first time. Working from home with blasting embarrassing music without headphones is a very particular form of freedom I really like, and taps into teenage angst, which helps me be very productive and happy. And naps after lunch. Everyday.

I was able to go to Rio for a project! I had to work really hard but staying at a hotel in Barra in front of the beach was definitely the best job location I’ve ever had. I also learned that balcony sliding doors can lock you out. Don’t do that semi naked.

I was able to travel abroad! Because of a good job and solid financing options for flight tickets, I was able to come to the US, visited a few places and even attended RailsConf (my eternal gratitude to PlataformaTec and my ex boss José Valim for splitting his hotel room with me and getting me a ticket).

I made so many friends. Most of my good friends I met through tech. Whether it was in college, São Paulo Ruby meetups or previous jobs, my favorite people are from tech or work in neighboring areas such as design.

Software engineering then took me to San Francisco! I went to work for a consultancy company in the Mecca of nerds. It was awesome, I grew up as a human being in unimaginable ways and San Francisco taught me so incredibly much. Just so you have a little ounce of idea, the human things on top of my head that I learned in the bay area: privilege, misogyny, dim sum, mapo tofu, implicit bias, cooking, Japanese, drawing, how dating sucks, piano and so much more.

I wrote a book! I had the great opportunity to write a book about a technology I loved at the time. Such an incredible experience to have people reading stuff you wrote. I apologize to you all! Joking aside, writing a book is a fascinating and humbling journey I recommend everyone to do. Write a book about your dog (and send me pictures of your dog please).

I worked with internet famous people! Coming from the middle of nowhere in Brazil, I would never imagine I would ever meet or even work for internet famous people. And better than famous, they are smart too. I learned a diverse amount of things, such as technology, existentialism, business and candor.

Finally, I moved to New York. Dropping bucket list items like flies. Living in New York was always a dream of mine. It’s like São Paulo, on 11. It’s like São Paulo but it has decent public transportation (yeah, if you think MTA sucks, you should try taking public transportation in São Paulo, it will change your mind pretty quickly).

Thanks computers for helping me achieve all of that, I'm very thankful.

Love/hate,

Vini.